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| George Clooney, Grant Heslov, and Ben Affleck celebrate their Best Picture win for Argo at the 2013 Academy Awards ceremony. |
The 85th Academy Awards
Ceremony date: February 24, 2013
Best Picture: Argo
Best Director: Ang Lee for Life of Pi
Best Actor: Daniel Day-Lewis for Lincoln
Best Actress: Jennifer Lawrence for Silver Linings
Playbook
Jen and I had been together less than a month when the 85th
Academy Awards came around. In 2020, we celebrated our eighth Oscars ceremony
together and second as a married couple. Understandably, less than a month into
the relationship, she did not quite grasp the importance of the ceremony to me.
What sane person could?
We met at the newspaper. She was an education and business
reporter, and I was on the copy desk. Watching the ceremony at my dad’s house
would be the first time she met my family, but of course, in my Oscars-addled
mind, asking her to share the Oscars with me was the bigger deal. She agreed
and we chose to make a weekend of it.
We drove down to San Francisco in the afternoon and met some
people for a late lunch. That late lunch kept getting pushed back and back and
back until it was certain we would not make to my dad’s in time for the show.
She did not seem concerned. I wanted to seem cool, an act that did not include
being overly concerned about the Academy Awards. Inside, I was counting the
minutes.
I asked my dad’s wife to DVR the ceremony so we could watch
it from the beginning. By the time we arrived at my dad’s house in Tracy, we
were about 45 minutes late for the ceremony – the first and last time I would
be late for my Oscars viewing appointment. The DVR had kicked in just late
enough to miss the opening monologue. I would learn later that this was
probably a lucky break.
Seth MacFarlane, of Family Guy fame, was the host
that year. An odd choice by any measure, MacFarlane apparently opened the show
with a song about how he had seen the boobs of many of the nominated actresses.
The song was called, “We Saw Your Boobs.”
Years later, when the Harvey Weinstein scandal broke, people
would point to a joke about Weinstein made by MacFarlane during this ceremony
as proof that the industry knew. MacFarlane essentially confirmed this by
saying the joke was inspired by an actress friend of his who had had a run-in
with the disgraced producer. MacFarlane was celebrated in some corners for
having the courage to call out Weinstein from Hollywood’s biggest stage. All I
am saying is: Let’s not give the “We Saw Your Boobs” guy too much credit.
I have never bothered to go back and watch that opening
monologue, which just does not seem like something I need in my life. The rest
of MacFarlane’s hosting gig felt fairly paint-by-numbers as these things go.
Perhaps a tad more off-color than usual, but nothing Chris Rock had not tried
nearly a decade before.
My dad and his wife, not Oscars watchers, went upstairs and
left Jen and I downstairs to enjoy the show on our own. They had kindly made us
dinner, and we brought a bottle of wine. The dog hung out downstairs with us. I
forget at what point I knocked over an entire glass of red wine on the beige
couch. That was the day I learned the miracle of Scotchgard. No damage to the
couch at all. This is not an ad, but seriously, that stuff works.
If it seems I am spending an unusual amount of time talking
about everything but the awards, it is because this ceremony felt more rote
than most. Ben Affleck’s Argo was the frontrunner, and his snub for Best
Director made a Best Picture triumph all but inevitable. I felt good for the
film’s producer Grant Heslov, who shared the top prize with best friend George
Clooney, as well as Affleck. You might recognize him from supporting roles in True
Lies and The Scorpion King. I know him from Dante’s Peak.
Apart from Argo, Life of Pi was the dominant
force of the evening. Ang Lee won Best Director for the second time in his
career – and for the second time watched another movie win Best Picture. You
may recognize this bit of trivia from a Final Jeopardy question during Jeopardy’s
“Greatest of All Time” tournament a couple months ago.
Daniel Day-Lewis won his third Best Actor Oscar for his
Abraham Lincoln impression in Steven Spielberg’s historical drama. Jennifer
Lawrence won Best Actress for Silver Linings Playbook. Christoph Waltz
won his second Supporting Actor trophy for Django Unchained. And, Anne
Hathaway joined Jennifer Hudson on the list of Supporting Actress winners who
won for performing a single song quite well. All of these were foregone
conclusions – there was some intrigue with Tommy Lee Jones in Supporting Actor,
but that fizzled – and none was particularly inspired.
The DVR cut out in the middle of Day-Lewis’ acceptance
speech. I did not get to see Best Picture announced live, which is a shame
because I can only imagine what it felt like not to know Michelle Obama was going
to show up. People criticized the moment as too political for the Oscars. I
respectfully disagree. Unlike MacFarlane’s opening monologue, I did go back and
watch Best Picture. I have seen it a number of times and was reminded of it
recently while reading a biography of Jack Nicholson. A lovely moment when the
highest office in the land celebrated the arts. Remember those days?
Quick notes: A lot of people think Roma’s
Academy Awards run paved the way for Parasite to go all the way in 2020.
I am of the opinion the Parasite road to victory begins here with
Michael Haneke’s superlative Amour. The French-language,
French-German-Austrian coproduction was nominated for Best Picture, Best
Director, Best Actress, Best Original Screenplay, and Best Foreign Language
Film. It won only Foreign Language, but it proved that in the new, expanded
Best Picture lineup, Academy members were ready and willing to look outside the
U.S. for the best in cinema.
Next time: We move to New York, and the Academy honors,
for my money, the single greatest Best Picture winner of all time.
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